I need the US RDA of everything

March 17, 2017

Do any of you three know anything about getting, like, really healthy? Man oh man, I am broken.  I’ve got the gout, I don’t sleep much, my back always hurts, my legs always hurt, I’m always sleepy, my teeth are in pain, I’m cranky, I have gas.

I am broken.

I’ve had a physical the last two years and my doctor has told me the same thing both times: “You need to lose weight.” Then she gives me a list of vitamins I need to start taking and tells me to get the hell out of her office.

So what I need is to lose weight. And what I want is a common sense diet. Or maybe an app. Or both. An app in support of a common sense approach to diet and weight loss. That would probably be best. Should I buy a Fitbit?

While we’re here, have any of you tried eating a Japanese diet or the French diet? I admire both cultures and I think it would be sweet to pretend like I was living there. Of course, then I’d step outside and some guy in a 50-foot tall truck would blow through the stop sign in front of my house and I would remember, “Oh yeah. I’m in Flower Mound.”

Okay, well, if any of you three have any recommendations, let me know. In the meantime, I’ll be sitting over here. Expanding.

Post Script

I may have some big news about my playwriting career. Stay tuned!

5 Comments
March 17, 2017 @ 5:00 pm

Here’s my surefire method (unfortunately, this is real and not comedic):

1. Set up an account with My Fitness Pal.
2. Set your goals.
3. Stick with them, entering every meal and all your exercise religiously.

I know that’s a crummy answer, but it does work. I guess #4 would be “Don’t get a chronic skin condition that requires a shot of steroids every month ago because the skin condition will discourage exercise and the steroids will make you put on pounds,” but that seems weirdly specific.

Reply
    admin
    March 18, 2017 @ 2:12 pm

    I may have a problem with doing it “religiously,” I can’t do anything except eat religiously. But I’m going to give this a shot.

    Reply
      March 19, 2017 @ 11:59 pm

      Yeah, that’s the bit that always trips me up. My therapist thinks it’s funny. She’ll read the whole script to me: First, you’ll set unrealistically harsh goals for yourself. You’ll stick to them for a month or so. Then, you’ll fail because you set yourself up to fail. Finally, you’ll use that as an excuse to quit and say that it was impossible in the first place.

      She’s quite funny.

      Reply
        admin
        March 20, 2017 @ 12:32 pm

        I’ve heard the same thing from a therapist, too. I think the key is to set more “manageable” goals. Even those can be challenging. So I guess what we need is advice on creating positive habits.

        Reply
          March 21, 2017 @ 6:08 am

          If you find anything that works, please let me know. I haven’t had a huge amount of success

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