Which means it’s my birthday. And I am not a fan of birthdays, especially my own. Birthday after birthday, telling myself, “This is going to be my year!” And then… Sputter. Fizzle. Nothing. And then there are the birthdays where people I thought were friends didn’t say anything, the birthdays that went ignored. The birthdays spent alone. At my age, the law of averages dictate that I’m bound to have a few I’d rather not remember, but I feel like I’ve had more than my fair share.
For some reason, this year’s is particularly difficult. Maybe it’s because I’m halfway through my 50s and I’m staring down the barrel at 60. When I was a kid, if you had asked how old is an old person, I would have said “65.” That’s what I remember my grandparents always being. 65. And I’m so close. And what have I accomplished?
At this point, you’re probably thinking, “Jeez, Jim, feel sorry for yourself much?” But I had convinced myself that at this point in my life, I would have made some sort of an impact.
Just so we’re clear, I’m talking professionally. As far as family is concerned, I’m in great shape. But when it comes to things like My Life’s Calling, though, I’m in bad shape.
There’s a big part of me that wonders if it’s too late. Can an old person break into the biz (whatever biz I try to break into – I still have no idea what I want to do when I grow up) or should I have already accepted my lifetime achievement award at this point?
On top of which, I don’t have the ratings in front of me, but I “older white male” is not trending favorably these days. So that’s something.
I guess I’ll just keep going. Pretend like the odds of me ever amounting to anything aren’t slim to none. And keep thinking like I’m 25 years old with all of the potential in the world.
“Wait, Jim, we thought this was a block about diabetes?”
Sorry. My health is affected by my age and my age has advanced some more, so it’s been “front of mind,” as the business types are wont to say.
Well, here’s where I have some more good news.
Since my last post – four months ago – I’ve lost nearly 40 pounds. I am under 200 pounds for the first time since probably college, which was a long time ago (see first section).
It hasn’t been easy. The Keto diet is a miserable thing and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone unless they had try to overthrow the government in the last week or encouraged rioters to do the same.
But I’ve been exercising a lot and that’s helped. And I’m far more mindful of what I’m eating. My A1C – the number that tells you whether you’re in a diabetic or pre-diabetic place – is normal. I’ve been riding my bike, walking, and I may even start jogging.
Who knows? At my age, I have to be pretty careful.
Because of my disdain for most humans, I will only use social media to promote my work. If the world has become a place where everything’s sole purpose is to make someone rich – and don’t kid yourself, it is – then I’m hopping on that money train.
Text me or write me a letter if you’d like to correspond. I’m going to use the time I don’t flush down the crapper to maybe make something of myself.
We’ll see next year.