Don’t read this

June 13, 2017

So one of your friends/fellow writers/people you look up to asks you to write a song for a show he’s producing and you write it and it actually turns out to be much better than you had hoped for, so good, in fact, that you think, “This is stellar!” and they put it in the show and use it and it gets a good response and you think, “I’m going to share this ditty with the world!” and you ask aforementioned friend if that’s cool and he, of course, says it is because he is cool which is part of the reason you look up to him and so you post it and you announce and you just sit back and wait for the listens to roll in but they never do – there’s only eight – and you keep checking because you’ve got that sort of mental… thing but still the number of listens does not go up and so then you really screw up and do the math and you realize that this means that roughly 00.6% of your Facebook friends have listened to these songs, except, of course, that when you see the people who have liked the songs and presumably listened to the songs are not, in fact, your Facebook friends but random SoundCloud listeners who you really appreciate for taking the time to listen to your music but still you have to wonder why none of your real “friends” have listened to it and, sure, you think that maybe it’s something wonky in the Facebook algorithm that doesn’t show your posts because Facebook has something against SoundCloud or maybe even against you but it does nothing to lessen the sting that comes from knowing people don’t want to hear your music so you decide, “Man, I gotta get this off my chest!” so you write a blog post and think, “If I don’t share this then I can just vent for a while and that will feel good and because I’m not going to share it I won’t have to come off sounding whiny or petty or petulant” which is something you pretty much feel all the time but then you realize the irony that you’re not going to share something that people would probably ignore anyway since they haven’t acknowledged the other stuff you’ve shared and it all becomes almost laughable until you realize these are issues you’ve had for years and they continue to haunt you but then you think maybe if you write it in a long train of thought sort of fashion that people will actually think you’re trying to, say, channel the work of David Foster Wallace and then you wonder if there are any tropes or devices you could use to make it seem even more like you’re trying to channel DFW and they will soon ignore the reality of your situation w/r/t music and songs or the lack of people listening to them and then you sort of reach a point where you realize you’ve written over 500 words and maybe that’s enough for now and you also wonder if maybe the Nihilists were right.

Time Has Come Today

March 30, 2017

I was a huge Elton John fan growing up. It started with the first “Greatest Hits” record and songs like “Bennie and the Jets” and “Rocket Man.” Then there was “Captain Fantastic” and “Rock of the Westies” and “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.” I loved his music. I still think “Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy” is one of the greatest albums of all time.

A year or two ago, I dug into some of the older albums that I’d never really listened to and I found “My Father’s Gun” from “Tumbleweed Connection.” Something about the song really affected me emotionally. It’s an amazing tune. The strings, the background vocals, the way it crescendos… It’s one of Elton’s all-time greats.At first, I thought my emotional reaction to the song was because I really dig the music. But lately, I’ve wondered if there was something more to it, more than just, “Hey, this great!”

At first, I thought my emotional reaction to the song was because I really dig the music. But lately, I’ve wondered if there was something more to it, more than just, “Hey, this great!”Here’s my theory.

Here’s my theory.I’m a sucker for the old days, for the sites and sounds from my youth. And I always get a rush when I hear an old song or, say, see an old movie from growing up. But rarely do I get to experience the sensation of discovering something for the first time like I did back then.

I’m a sucker for the old days, for the sites and sounds from my youth. And I always get a rush when I hear an old song or, say, see an old movie from growing up. But rarely do I get to experience the sensation of discovering something for the first time like I did back then.Does that make sense? Probably not.

Does that make sense? Probably not.

When I first discovered Elton John, there was a rush I got every time I heard a new song that I loved. I haven’t been able to do that in forever. Until I heard “My Father’s Gun.”

I can’t recommend this exercise strongly enough: Go back to someone you listened to as a kid, someone you loved. Then find some of that artist’s work you’re not familiar with. It’s amazing.

It’s as close as you’ll ever get to a time machine.

I am an old fan boy

March 8, 2017

I’m giddy. Almost to the point of giggling. Though not really since giggling and laughing and guffawing — it’s all too much. Still, I’m stoked. And giddy.

I get to see my favorite author speak tonight. Geoerge Saunders. Like, in person. It’s kind of a weird thing, seeing an author speak since speaking isn’t what authors do. They write. Still, I haven’t had a bad experience yet seeing writers whose work I enjoy. With the exception of the time I, a somewhat misguided child, made my mom take me to see William F. Buckley speak. Sheesh. Never again!

But I’m pretty sure Saunders will not disappoint. Though I’m not entirely sure what I expect to get out of it. That sounds a bit ungrateful, but I don’t mean it to be. And maybe that’s why I’ve enjoyed seeing all of the other writers – I had no idea what to expect and I got far more than I could have asked for.

One thing I would like to walk away with is a renewed sense of purpose for my own writing. A little jolt to the system, if you will. It’s happened before and it actually worked for a while. Maybe this one will last a little longer.

Updates soon.

Give it up!

February 27, 2017

Hey, so, like, when do you know when to give up something? I’ve got a set of golf clubs in the garage that I’ve had for about 15 years and I’m wondering if I should get rid of them or not. I tried swinging one this weekend and I felt as flexible as a sequoia. At the same time, for as lousy as I was, I kind of enjoyed playing golf.

Part of me says if I enjoy the game and they don’t take up much room, I should just go ahead and keep them. Another part says that if I felt that way about more things, I wouldn’t be able to walk through my house for the clutter. Then the first part says that I don’t feel that way about more things and that they really don’t take up much space at all. But then a sort of quasi-third part shows up and asks me to remember the amount of frustration I felt towards the sport and that if I wanted to get any better at it (as in break 100 better), that it would take a lot of time and money that I don’t have so… Lose the clubs.

What do you two think? When do we give up things? Sports, hobbies, goals, ambitions, dreams…

Look, I know I’m never going to win the Masters, but it would be fun to get out there every now and then for 18 holes of cursing and frustration.

What You Can Expect

February 20, 2017

Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through. Thank you sir, may I have another. Thank you, please drive through.

What do you think? It’s a rough draft of a commencement speech I can give if I’m ever called to do so. It’s funny because it’s true!

Good grief

February 16, 2017

I almost missed another day. This does not bode well. I am not establishing a solid routine. Maybe I should try to just write them a couple of times a week and make them, like, good? Sheesh. This is tough.

Poop!

February 9, 2017

I think I’ve been doing a very good job of posting every single day for the last ten days.

10. Days.

I should celebrate, shouldn’t I? Perhaps I’ll take the rest of the day off?

Okay. It’s settled. I’m going to take the rest of the day off and then I’ll come back tomorrow with something really smashing.

Are you ready for some quiet time?

February 5, 2017

Today, millions and millions of people around the world will tune in to watch the Falcons and Patriots for the temporary honor of World’s Best American Football Team. I won’t be one of them.

Part of it, of course, is the fatigue of spending year after year following a team, fueled by the owner’s ego, as they failed again and again.

Part of it is because I despise the sport.

Have you ever seen how a pro American football player behaves after he’s sacked a quarterback or scored a touchdown? Whether the team is behind or ahead, at the top of the standings or dead last, they all behave as if they had achieved something ne’er before reached by mere mortals, when, in fact, they were just doing their jobs.

Then I read this book, Against Football: One Fan’s Reluctant Manifesto. And he’s right. The money, the exploitation, the inuries… Football just isn’t worth it. And while Almond continues to watch the game (he says so in the book), I don’t.

It just isn’t worth it.

And so it begins…

November 1, 2016

Here we go, y’all. It’s November and that can only mean one thing, other than it’s Thanksgiving and it should be getting cooler.

It’s National Novel Writing Month.

I’ve started my novel, registered on the NaNoWriMo site… I’m ready to go. Over the next 30 days, I’ll do my best to crank out 50,000 words that, when strung together, make sense and sound good and maybe even make people laugh.

Wish me luck.

More soon.