This is the content you’ve come here for

May 4, 2020

If either of you truly knows me, you know that my greatest concern in this world is my aesthetic. Because I don’t have one. So I’ve been doing everything in my power to find one. I’m pretty confident I’ve talked about this before, though nobody would know since I’ve hidden all of my old blog posts in a top-secret vault at my buddy Allen’s house in Ittoqqortoormiit, Greenland.

Anyway, what I’ve been trying to do is find my own aesthetic. However, there are so many other aesthetics out there that have worked famously for their owners, so why should I come up with my own? It’s like whenever I start a band, I always recommend we use the name “Rolling Stones,” since it’s a proven, quality name.

One of the aesthetics I’ve considered co-opting is from a rather successful Midwestern writer. He’s a divisive figure and I don’t want to lose either of my readers, so I’ll refrain from saying his name. I’ll just say that he has a very specific aesthetic and represents a very specific geographical area and those are two requirements for my Total Aesthetic Adoption process.

My mom is also a big fan of this writer and she often sends me one of his daily blog posts. After a particularly good post last week, I told her that I admired his ability to come up with new things to write about, even fifty years into his career.

She said there are just some people who can find the funny in anything. Then she capped it with this gem:

“I bet you are one of those people.”

So I’ve decided to do just that. As you know, my blog is outside of the Self-Promotion and Marketing realm of this site, and nobody but you two ever come here, so I feel like I can get away with this sort of experimental funny haha writing.

Every morning, I’m going to find some sort of prompt and write 500 words on the topic. Yes, it will be a challenge, waking up all the time. But I feel I’m uniquely qualified for this sort of work. I’ve been an improviser for most of my adult life and, on a couple of occasions, I performed in front of people!

Plus, I can improvise not just comedy, but bits of wisdom, too.

This one time? I was in a focus group and I made the observation that “chicken is the khaki slacks of the food world.”

And isn’t that the sort of content you’re looking for online?

Yes. Yes, you are.

Well, this post isn’t going to be 500 words, but it will be close. If you’d like, please a single word in the comments that I can use as a prompt. Make sure it’s clean, though. I will not write philosophical comedy posts about “poop” or “boobs.”

Though, who knows? The search for new subject matter is a tough one. And maybe I’ll be desperate enough to wax philosophical on the meaning of poop.

Also, this post is 522 words long. So I’m already ahead of the game.

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